Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize