U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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