big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
