i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize