he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
