I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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