Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
