AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
