The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize