you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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