sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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