They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
