why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Randomize
