The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
