i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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