i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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