Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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