Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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