OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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