Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I could fuck to npr.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
