we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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