i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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