Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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