whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Randomize
