Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
