I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk walkin through police station. America
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Randomize