you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
two words: eviction party
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
