im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
