I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
organizing the empties. That sober.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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