Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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