Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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