He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
So many bounce houses so little time
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Who died my cat blue again?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize
