Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
