i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
