You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
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She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
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Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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