no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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