hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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