I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
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Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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