So drunk its hurt
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
