yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
