I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
