Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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