those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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