fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
