I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
