She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize