Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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