I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
