I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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