There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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