well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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