he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
